I found an excellent article on death of a child, and on grieving in Issue # 688 of Vanity Fair, beginning on page 113.  Joe Biden talks about the death of his son Beau, lost to cancer.

A brief quote - page 118:
"  . . the second year (after a death) is harder than the first. That's a fact. Anybody who's gone through serious tragedy, the first year, there are so many people around you propping you up. But after a year, your family, your close friends - I mean it's normal, they've got to get back to their lives. But then the reality of it sets in, in a profound way."

I am beginning my fourth year of grieving. Sometimes, I do well; sometimes I still tear up so much that I cannot see.

I wonder if I may have depended too much on her for my identity; moving to her home place; attending her home church; associating with her family, neighbors. acquaintances on a daily-weekly basis. When she was no longer around, the local folk quickly moved on. I have not. Still.