Though Wife has been dead and buried (remember, no
euphemisms) for well over 500 days now, she is still claiming visiting rights. (She rode with me the first time I returned home
after she had died, and has visited me often since, both as a spirit that I
could feel, and as a director of, and actor in my dreams.
Recently, she began bombarding me with pointed dreams – informing
me that; no matter what path I choose, I will ultimately reach the same
destination; explaining that I should be more cat-personality, rather than dog
personality; telling me that I need to divorce myself from life-binding
responsibilities and organizations that are no longer relevant to me; that I
must prepare to be reborn.
NONE of those dreams
seem relevant to me – yet. I cannot fathom such a sea-change. AND, I am not
ready to release Wife, which, I fear, is her ultimate goal. Her leaving would
devastate me, for I have nothing nor no one who can even remotely replace her.
Now, here I sit, contemplating whether to tackle
implementing her suggestions and risk losing her in the process, or to continue
to be imprisoned in the past. What is a person to do?
